Overview
Yara, a ninja, gives advice on how to get out of trouble with various factions of Kenshi based on her own account of an unfortunate series of incidents that got her into trouble with multiple factions, ending up with her being thrown into jail before escaping to tell the tale.

Editor's Note
Text written in red is original text from the in-game book.

Everything else is text added to expand the story.

Enjoy! :)
Chapter I: The United Cities
Hoo boy, did I get myself in a mess! Alright, let me start from the beginning. Okay, so I was in Heng looking for work; you know, trying to find shady merchants or dealers who need a 'quick' solution to their problems. Didn't have any luck and so I decided to go to the bar and grab myself a good ol' bowl of veggies for the road. 3
But this is where shit hit the fan. First off, I spilt my veggie bowl on noble Yoshinaga's robes after getting my sandals caught on a damn rock. Boy was he angry! He could have had my head on a plate if I hadn't managed to hightail it across the sands all the way to Stack with a trail of angry samurai on my back.
Chapter II: The Holy Nation
The last time I had to run that much was when a pair of 'beak things' were after my ass when I got caught trying to steal one of their eggs. Them eggs sell for lots of cats, you know? But I'm getting off track. So, I manage to evade the samurai and then! Then I only go and speak to the high priest 'before being spoken to', 5
and boy, he was not happy with me. I thought the samurai had foul-mouths, but Narko's shitty backside, I hope that priest doesn't kiss his wife with that mouth. That was my cue to leave and so I tried to hightail it out of Stack at that point, but tore my rags on the phoenix statue and bore my 'heinous udders' for all to see. 6
For a moment, I didn't know what to do and those bloody paladins were starting to surround me, blocking my escape. They were still mocking me as I stood there a little embarrased and honestly, at that point, I was pretty irritated at having my sweet greenfruits referred to as udders, so I stuck 'em the middle finger and yelled every curseword under the sun.
Chapter III: Imprisoned
I tried to put up a fight, knowing that these bastards would send me to Rebirth eventually for being 'Narko possessed', but they were just too many of them and I was quickly surrounded. I got thrown in a prison cage and coveniently broken out by a fellow ninja inmate two weeks later. 8
After escaping Stack and making my way into the Swamps to lay-low, I had to figure out my next move. But how could I live easy with two of the most powerful world factions hating my guts, you ask? Well, I did what I do whenever I need something fixed. 9
I paid a guy in a bar to make my problems go away. Not in that way! Pervert. Do I look like that kind of girl? Don't answer that. Anyway, what's my point in this long-winded story? My point, friend is that no matter what kind of bad day you're having, all problems can be solved!... with money. Otherwise, you're pretty screwed. 10
So here it is, a directory I've compiled of all the faction pacifiers and their locations for when you're having that particularly bad day or week. Try to not get in trouble with the faction where the pacifier you need is located. That will really suck, I can promise you that much. Good luck, troublemaker,
Yara